Hi All,
I have had vitiligo since past 20 years , I use derma color and most people do not know that I have vitiligo on my face.
Now this creates problems for me when it comes to approaching a lady because I fear of what happens if she finds that I have vitiligo.
I have come accross may women at workplace who get atttacted towards me but they are not able to understand my unusal behaviour..I could never gather the courage to talk to a women even if she gives clear hints that she is interested in me..
have recently moved to london and am having not much friends and am feel very lonely after work and on weekends..
Please suggest what should I do...
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Few years ago I experienced the same problem. That made me feel very isolated. I think the only solution in this case is for you to face your fears and tell a lot of people about your skin. I do wear make up on my face but I never wear on my hands so everyone can see . Once you learn to discuss this with people your will feel a lot more relax. I have told a lot of people about my vitiligo and although I have it over 70 percent of my body, I have a boyfriend and I often get told by guys who know I have this problem that they find me very attractive. Women love confidence. If you are able to find confidence that will make you even more attractive because it will show that you have a strong spirit and this is what people feel attracted too.Where about in London do you live? I live in Hackney East London...It is a good area for parties ;-)
Hi Lvanka...you are right but My situation is like I do not have much vit on rest of my body and what ever is on face i easily cover with makeup so i do not feel like i should discuss my vit with people....it's not lack in confidence...its like convice someone to love you...would that ever work...never found anyone who loved me with all my faults....
any ways...it's a very good feeling when i discuss vit with people like this...many thanks for your reply
I live in Chelsea..Near King's road...very happening place...but I am not. a very party kind of person although I love being out with friends but I love more to be at peaceful places...I go out for party when i meet my collage friends..i love painting and music...so I am more like a creative person...
I find people care much less about the fact that we have vitiligo than we do. We obsess over it. For them, it barely registers and if it registers I find people ask about and then move on. This applies even in dating. Because vitiligo is visible, you find out right away whether people have a problem with it. So ask people out. That's all I can say. DON'T decide for them whether they want to date you.
Remember this, you are as attractive as you feel. I'm not kidding. Look at people who aren't conventionally beautiful, like Obama or Meryl Streep or Alan Sugar, but because they have confidence and believe they are beautiful, they appear more attractive to the rest of us. There's a whole article about it here. So, feel beautiful, act with confidence, smile and you'll quickly know which girls to approach because your smile and confidence will have caught their attention. Good luck!
Hi Alex...thanks for your reply....i totally agree with you...
But there is something more here , the thing is that she gets attracted towards me looking at my face and i feel i am lying to her and scared of showing the truth...Only thing is that I do not want to cheat her or make her feel that she has been cheated...I know the best way to know is as you said is to let her know about my vit...
but again it feels so abnormal.....
Many thanks for your honest reply....
I'd say tell her on the second date. Let her get to know you on the first one. I don't think that's deceptive. First dates are just about getting to know each other. All that other stuff can wait.
Replies
any ways...it's a very good feeling when i discuss vit with people like this...many thanks for your reply
I live in Chelsea..Near King's road...very happening place...but I am not. a very party kind of person although I love being out with friends but I love more to be at peaceful places...I go out for party when i meet my collage friends..i love painting and music...so I am more like a creative person...
I find people care much less about the fact that we have vitiligo than we do. We obsess over it. For them, it barely registers and if it registers I find people ask about and then move on. This applies even in dating. Because vitiligo is visible, you find out right away whether people have a problem with it. So ask people out. That's all I can say. DON'T decide for them whether they want to date you.
Remember this, you are as attractive as you feel. I'm not kidding. Look at people who aren't conventionally beautiful, like Obama or Meryl Streep or Alan Sugar, but because they have confidence and believe they are beautiful, they appear more attractive to the rest of us. There's a whole article about it here. So, feel beautiful, act with confidence, smile and you'll quickly know which girls to approach because your smile and confidence will have caught their attention. Good luck!
But there is something more here , the thing is that she gets attracted towards me looking at my face and i feel i am lying to her and scared of showing the truth...Only thing is that I do not want to cheat her or make her feel that she has been cheated...I know the best way to know is as you said is to let her know about my vit...
but again it feels so abnormal.....
Many thanks for your honest reply....