Question. I received a picture from a relatively close friend whom I've known for 11 years. In the picture she put white makeup around her eyes. In the text she said "experimenting". I went thru a host of emotions in about 60 seconds. I texted her back (I was clearly angry), she said she wanted to see if people really stare as I have stated. She knows how painful this has been so I immediately thought about deleting this relationship. Should I?
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It's my understanding that you guys have been friends for 11 years if I'm not mistaken?, So if she wasn't a real friend to you why would your friendship have lasted this long.If she was a person who purposely tried to hurt you or your feelings I don't think she would of stayed in your life all this time.Please don't ruin a friendship because of a miscommunication explain your feelings towards her and you two sit down and have a discussion with each other and try to work this it out because it's not worth destroying a friendship over and anytime you need advice please don't hesitate to contact me I'm available for you because I know what you are going thru
I just talked to her again (you can see how often we talk). She admitted that she was shallow and insensitive. She claims that she wanted to see if people really made me uncomfortable or if it was me (I was painfully shy before I got vit). She says that she cannot understand why I don't "hang out" with her as much as I used to. She says as a result she lashed out at me not thinking that it would hurt my feelings. We laughed...tonight we're still friends.
Thanks, it helps having you all.
I am glad you two are working it out. From now on don't be afraid to tell her how her words and actions make you feel. A true sister friend will understand and respect your feelings.
We are here for ya!!
What I interpret about this message is the fact that this person is trying to walk a mile in your shoes I don't think they are purposely trying to insult you because it's easy to assume that when you have Vitiligo. Even when she sent you the message with the white make-up on she was just trying to get a grasp of how it would feel to have Vitiligo and to experience what you have been experiencing But if you feel that her motives are of a different nature do what you have to do to end the friendship but in my personal opinion I don't think she's purposely trying to hurt or offend even though she might actually do it unknowingly because I been there before that's why I'm giving you my opinion and you can take it or leave it for whatever it's worth to you
She called me...again. I answered. I told her how I felt, I told her what you said and I told her that I was going to re-assess the relationship. She apologized repeatedly saying that she never thought that I would have taken it that way (yeah right), but I love her like a sister. She's the only person in my life that I talk to about everything from politics to men. We laughed tonight but I'm still not sure. I'll keep gauging your responses. Love you all!
That is a tough one. On one hand she could have genuinely been trying to feel your pain as a true friend. People who don't have vit for the most part don't understand why we feel the way we do. On the other hand she could have been being very insensitive and basically not believing the seriousness of your feelings and some peoples reaction to vit. You have known her for 11 years. What do you think?
I would tell her exactly how you feel. If she was in tune to your feelings as your friend she would not have said the things she did. Personally, I feel she is being shallow and insensitive.
Sometimes people say things without thinking. I have experienced that many times. Also keep in mind that you may be extra sensitive because of the vit and just might take things the wrong way. I know I have on many occasions. You have to decide is this a true friend worth keeping ,or has she been toxic all along.