Dear Friend,
As a vitiligo affected person, What do you think is your ideal life partner ? would you prefer a vitiligo affected person or would you prefer healthy person?
In, india it is very difficult to find a healthy person to get married to vitiligo patient. In our society our kind of people dont exist when it comes to giving their daugthers. What do you suggest a person should do at this time ? Should he marry another vitiligo affected person ? Or is there any other options ?
As anybody have been in this situation ? especially in India, where arranged marriages are more prevelant and norm of the day
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i just thought that something might be triggering or causing vitiligo if its the third common desuiese in india.its just crazy that they havent found the cure yet.but i bet in five to ten years there will be a cure,and it wont if a marry a girl with or with or without vitiligo.its all about if you love that person ,and they love you.
Well you can marry a so called "healthy person" and they can get vitiligo to. I suppose it harder being in your situation and havin an arranged marriage
I've given this a lot of thought, believe me. The reasoning to be with someone who also has vit is that person would understand, right? But if you're with someone who has vitiligo and you decide to have kids, the chances are greatly increased that child will have vit. You could of course adopt in that case, but then it goes back to the point that there are plenty of people with vitiligo who ended up having kids. We're here aren't we? Surely, they made it work.
So, then it goes back to the idea that only a person with vit would understand. Surely that can't be the case. In fact, we should feel lucky this is a visible condition because it's hard to completely hide it, so we find out immediately whether people can handle it or not. We can't make that decision for them, nor should we, because we're so self-conscious, we're not thinking straight. Love is felt in your gut and in your heart, not in your eyes. If we love each other, I guarantee you others will too.
In the long run, I don't think the person's Vit status could really effect my choice, in if I'm going to spend my life with that person or not. If they have it or not, it's the person under the skin which really counts, when you're looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with.
Santhosh,
I guess I'm glad I'm not in India and dealing with arranged marriages. Having this condition is bad enough, but to be called unhealthy and judged by a family is taking it to another level. That being said, it's probably just as difficult to get someone to look past vitiligo here in the US as it is in India. I don't know what to say, other than maybe have deep pockets and hopefully the family can overlook the skin.
A good idea would be to marry someone you like and who likes you. Notice I wrote "like" and not love. I am with someone who could care less that I have Vitiligo. I met him with full vitiligo. We all have imperfectness. Sometimes visable and sometimes not. Just because you have Vitiligo doesn't mean your life will be happier if you marry someone with Vitiligo. Choose someone who cares for you, who you are. Inside we are all pink and bleed red. As far as children goes.....at about 30 or 40 EVERY PERSON ends up with something. The body starts breaking down. Our DNA is just waiting for the day that it surprises us. If it's not Vitiligo it will be something else. We have to deal with whatever life throws at us!
Well put Dulce! I agree you should be with someone who is your match no matter what 'condition'. If you hold out for so long someone truly amazing will pass you by.
Replies
So, then it goes back to the idea that only a person with vit would understand. Surely that can't be the case. In fact, we should feel lucky this is a visible condition because it's hard to completely hide it, so we find out immediately whether people can handle it or not. We can't make that decision for them, nor should we, because we're so self-conscious, we're not thinking straight. Love is felt in your gut and in your heart, not in your eyes. If we love each other, I guarantee you others will too.
I guess I'm glad I'm not in India and dealing with arranged marriages. Having this condition is bad enough, but to be called unhealthy and judged by a family is taking it to another level. That being said, it's probably just as difficult to get someone to look past vitiligo here in the US as it is in India. I don't know what to say, other than maybe have deep pockets and hopefully the family can overlook the skin.
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