vitiligo and my love life

does it bother having a vitiligo when it comes to looking for the right man or the right woman that your heart truly desires???everytime i have a boyfriend, it hurts to hide him the fact that in no time my skin's gonna change.. i feel awful for him to have a girlfriend who looks different from the rest of the world..

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  • I have had vit since childhood. I dated, many times more than my friends, like normal and had regular relationships. Boys/Men still found me attractive and in my longest relationship we had 2 kids. I know it is hard to grasp but you are beautiful and if you let your inside show then people forget about the vit and see the physical and spiritual beauty.
  • no '' love can not see your skin'' just your heart.

    feel the love?


    charles
  • Hi Marion....a real man is attracted to sexuality, not "sexy". They really are two diffrent things. Having sexuality means being confident about who you are. Know that you look good, no matter how your skin looks. "Sexy" only last for a short while, great hair, great skin etc.. But if you are confident in who you are, your sexuality will last a life time, humor,confidence, outgoing. Good luck to you. I had to actually point out my vit to a great guy I was dating. It was on my hands and face. I was 19 when we met and we have now been married 18 years
  • It does bother me but I'm not getting the reaction I thought I would get from men. I've had guys hit on me and my vit is very visible on my arms and hands. It doesn't phase them at all. Going out in public, romantic situations, etc... they like me and findme attractive 9which I am vit or no vit). If you think about it... you don't want people in your life that is toxic and judgemental and when you life crosses paths with those people and they shun you... say Thanks! you didn't want them in your life anyway.
  • dear marino,
    I would love a girl with good heart, then her looks and would not bother what her color of the skin is. Infact, I would love her more. If she has a beutiful personality, external beuty fades away as years pass by. But the true being of the personality will ever grow beutiful as year pass by. I would be attracted by her inner beuty, intelligence and grace !!!
    I would love that person whole heartedly and soulfully and woulnt let any thought pass her mind about her skin problem. I would make sure that i express how much i love for she being herself, natural self. I would reassure that she would be the best thing to happen in my life. I would want her to stop her mental agony, I would want her to stop the self hatred emotions towards herself, cos that is going to stop her giving love to me unconditionaly. And starting point of pain, created cos of ones own imperfection. But I will let her know that the world is perfect with imperfects, and she completes me. Man needs emotional support from her girlfriend, cos he is the weakest animal when it comes to emotions. And I guess thats where she needs to be strong enough to give me that. thats all i would ask her. To support me emotionally and love me unconditionally till i live or she lives !!
  • I am afraid i can't comment from a male point of view as i would happily have a relationship with someone who has vitiligo lol.

    Being serious now, i have had a number of relationships and to begin with i used to hide it away until i was left becasue of it.

    To stop myself getting hurt i am now upfront about my vitiligo,(am currently engaged so havent done for a while lol). I explain that this is what i have and what it is all about (obviously not on a first date or anything) but early on. I found that after i was upfront about it i reduced my chances of getting hurt. The worst thing that they could say afterwards is that they didnt want to continue rather than OMG WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR LEG for example. I also found that the girls i was upfront with were more respectful of me afterwards for telling them.

    Now dont take offence. I think it would be easier to talk to boys about it than girls. purely because girls have more materialistic tendancies than men. Cosmopolitan magasine etc.

    Admittedly you will encounter a couple of nasty people however the majority of people in this world i believe a nice decent people.

    ANyway have gone on way too much now.
  • Hi marion, you can and you will find that right person. It's whats in the heart that counts, not how we look on the out side. We must stay positive and live our life's to it's fullest. Don't let this skin condition we have ruin young adult life. You are young and full of life, so enjoy it. I also developed vitiligo at 17 years old, but I didn't allow this condition stop me from ruining my teen and young adult years. Take care Joe
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