I need to vent! I feel like I need to get psychotherapy again at times. I went through therapy for over 15 years for child abuse, sexual abuse, vitiligo issues and drug abuse of diet pills (amphetamines) for over 20 years. I have been out of counseling since 2003 and I have been free of amphetamines for 20 years this year. I believe I used them because of my low self esteem because of my vitiligo and then it became an addiction that nearly killed me( my body became toxic from all the pills and I was suicidal by wanting the pain to stop). Since 2004 I have been feeling really good about my life (became completely depigmented by gradual progression of vitiligo over a 50 year span). I have lived with vitiligo for so long and have so many painful memories that have resurfaced because of MJ's death and the media's frenzy. It hurts too much to watch it anymore. My story is so long that I can even get frustrated trying to give my testimony. My feelings run from anger to compassion, fear to possible understanding of vitiligo by the world, gratitude for where I am now but I am grieving once again. My only peace comes from my relationship with my Lord. He understands me, He knows me, He made me to grieve and cry when I need to. So I do, but I also need human understanding and compassion for the emotional trauma that is caused by Vitiligo and all issues connected to it. A lady once wrote a poem called "Ashamed that I am Ashamed" and I understood and could relate to her feelings so well. I am on the verge of tears right now, thinking about all the children who have or may get vitiligo. I am feeling a lot of stuff right now. Talk to you later. Hugs from Patty
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Hi Patty! I am am new here but felt this post was the place for me to start. I also am very emotional at the passing of Michael Jackson, for many reasons. I am 34 and have had vitiligo for 26 yrs. I grew up to MJ. He was black like me and had vitiligo. I am almost completely white now and I have been angered by the meaness of some people in regards to his life struggle. Although I have never really had a problem with my vitiligo I understand what it means for people with it, especially in the spotlight. I hope you know that people are here for you. I am here for you! So be strong and remember MJ as I do, as an amazing man who brought the world together in many cases and believed in everyone and stood up for all children.
Patty,
I pray God continues to give you the strength to deal with your feelings. We all share in your pain, and will be here for you as much as possible. Vent any time.
Jeff
Dear Patricia please know that I understand your pain and so do other members of Vitiligo Friends I was hurt deeply too when I heard about the death of Michael Jackson because it brings Vitiligo up once again as a topic of discussion, I feal compassion,fear,anger,anxiety,confusion,pain,etc. I'm feeling a lot of stuff right now mainly confusion please understand I feel your pain and there's a lot of us who feel that way I'm glad that you were able to vent, because without venting I would of never had known your pain because it would of been bottled up inside you.
Thank you so much, Carl
I think I am getting better emotionally today, but I have sort of isolated because I don't want to hear certain friends comments about MJ right now. But I know better than to isolate too long. I will be meeting with 2 friends soon who know my life story, wonderful longtime friends I met in 12 step meetings about 15 years ago. Anyway, it is so true the wide range of emotions that can come up for us vitiligo friends. God bless you and yours, Patty
Replies
I pray God continues to give you the strength to deal with your feelings. We all share in your pain, and will be here for you as much as possible. Vent any time.
Jeff
Dear Patricia please know that I understand your pain and so do other members of Vitiligo Friends I was hurt deeply too when I heard about the death of Michael Jackson because it brings Vitiligo up once again as a topic of discussion, I feal compassion,fear,anger,anxiety,confusion,pain,etc. I'm feeling a lot of stuff right now mainly confusion please understand I feel your pain and there's a lot of us who feel that way I'm glad that you were able to vent, because without venting I would of never had known your pain because it would of been bottled up inside you.
Take care and God bless you
Carl R. Manley
I think I am getting better emotionally today, but I have sort of isolated because I don't want to hear certain friends comments about MJ right now. But I know better than to isolate too long. I will be meeting with 2 friends soon who know my life story, wonderful longtime friends I met in 12 step meetings about 15 years ago. Anyway, it is so true the wide range of emotions that can come up for us vitiligo friends. God bless you and yours, Patty