I tell a guy I have a vitiligo after the 4th or 5th email, after that they don't reply anymore in dating sites. The last guy used to write me really long mails before I told him and was really interested. After I told him he just sent me one short mail saying my vitiligo didn't matter and blah blah blah but never wrote again. What hypocrites! How you mean to tell me that it doesn't matter and then ignore me, he just did it to feel good about himself!
Men just don't want to present women with a freaky skin condition to their friends, family and traveling abroad with us. This specific individual wanted to travel a lot and of course he didn't pick me, they are just worried about their image, and this was a christian site so I expected better...I'm a realist and this is the truth, no sugar coating!
I cancelled my account seeing that men were not even reading my profile, just complete frustration at the laziness and stupidity you can find in these places. I don't believe in one that doesn't do this, every guy out there does this shit whether they think they are superficial or not. I just feel unlovable after these episodes. I have published a story recently in a book and I couldn't feel satisfaction from that. I think women get more satisfaction out of loving and being loved than mere accomplishments but it's not happening so....it has nothing to do with loving myself or not..it's all superficiality from the world that's real what hurts and I want to know if any other woman or guy from here have people stop emailing or talking back after the disease disclosure ? am i the only one?
Replies
Mersi,
When you stop being so angry with the world because you have Vitiligo-the world will embrace you for who you are. I am saddened by you treating your achievements in such a disregarding manner. It is almost like how you refer to yourself, as you feel others see you-like you feel they disregard you.
I am not in denial-I frequently struggle to accept my condition but I don't rant and rave and seethe at the fact that I am supposedly not acceptable. Have you considered therapy? I am not saying you are not allowed to have the opinions you have-we are all guilty of having negative thoughts-but truly, do you want to be with this guy you feel has written you off because you happen to have a skin condition?
Be honest-do you go into these situations thinking you will be rejected? If your main focus is on your so-called imperfections, then you are guilty of the very same you are accusing this guy of being. You're Christian-right? Do you attend a church or are you part of a community? You write-do you spend time with other like-minded individuals?
You are right about the fact that people get more satisfaction from loving and being loved-start by loving yourself.
Take care,
Ish x
sorry to hear that...i have not experienced rejection well maybe once...but it was not that bad
I don't wanna sound harsh but with the attitude some of the people on here have and that includes Mersi, it's no wonder they can't find love. When you are bitter and angry about life sometimes people can pick up on that. And Mersi's post along with other people sound as bitter and angry as they can get. I've seen other posts just like this one with the same tone and pessimism as this one. Bitter attitudes are very unattractive no matter what the circumstances are, there are people out there that can't even walk and somehow they manage to find love. Generalizing all guys and girls is not going to do anything but lessen your chances of ever dating anyone at all, who want's to date someone that just expects dissapointment out of life? Sorry if im sounding rude or mean but its the truth.
Hey Mersi, don't give up on dating, just don't do it online, bunch of superficial emotional wrecks on those dating sites, lol! Just try to find activities that you like doing, get out, meet people...don't be ashamed of your vitiligo! I'm sure you'll find someone soon :0)
And with all that said aint you looking for someone special ? You are ! Then you must know that everything that is easy and quick is crap ...except death . Its like money - if you get them easy you spend them quick and end up broke and mess .
I would bang a viti girl ( thats my equivalent of love :D hahah ) if she was able to control her "girly" stupid behavior and was nice and sweet and supportive , without trying to do an impossible thing - to overpower / outsmart me ...its a dead horse`s dream to do so .
If you wanna find and keep love you will have to do alot , most probably way more that you expect and willing or able to do ...being average Jane and expecting something special is a fool`s hope ... you must be special ...be special .
But you do care about looks yeah and also about guy`s money you care and this and that ahh even about "he must be over 6` " you care ... so dont expect any different form guys .
No amount of relationships will matter if you dont love yourself ...will be waste of life .
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