Hello friends,
I hope I am not being presumptuous in naming you all such, but here's hoping. My personal experience with vitiligo began about 7 years ago. That was when the first spots began to appear on my left arm. I was initially diagnosed with a fungal infection by my family doctor, for which I was prescribed an oral anitfungal and some sort of rinse which I learned was for treating thrush (which I did not have). I was tossed around from specialist to specialist and was even sent for an MRI to look for MS in my brain. The doctors had me scared out of my wits and in the end, when a dermatologist finally determined it was only vitiligo, I felt failed and cheated by the medical community. Since then, I am loathe to vist a doctor's office outside of routine checkups. In the 6 months it took for my condition to be diagnosed, the affected areas spread to my scalp hands, feet and genitalia. I have tried topicals with no success. I don't date much, as it inevitably results in awkward situations when the relationships begin to turn intimate. Does anyone have any recommendations for people like me, who have been affected for a long time, without much treatment? I trust you lot more than I will ever trust another doctor.
Thank you,
Scott
Replies
I think you have to get out there and show no fear :) My father had a similar experience and didn't get treatment in time. He met my mother when he was still transitioning from pigmented to completely unpigmented. My mother is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. She is also Italian which probably didn't hurt. She fell so in love with my speckled father and thought his spots were cute. Yes, she has even talked about thinking his spots in those private areas were "so cute". My partner had the same reaction..."I love them. I think they are so cute". People who like you will no doubt like that part of you as well. People really like anything only they know about you..that freckle behind your ear, that the corner of your mouth flinches for just a second whenever you are nervous, that you have spots in places only they get to see. It is neither desirable nor undesirable. It is you and if they like you, they like all of you. Just focus on who you are. A man with integrity, a good sense of humor, and who is confident and humble at the same time will win over most anyone! Tell them at the beginning that you have vitiligo so some of your skin is white and some is tan. Say it like it is no big deal. They will take their cue from you about how to react. If you talk about it as if it's concerning, they will be concerned. If you state it as a fact, answer any questions openly and honestly, smile, and move on, they will treat it like it's no big deal.
My advice? Love yourself exactly as you are. Treat any new spots that arise as soon as they arise if treatment is your choice. What happened to you wasn't right. It shouldn't have happened that way and you have every right to feel angry and distrustful. But it is what it is now and the sooner you accept what is...the more peace and happiness you will experience. The truth about the situation will be the same whether you resist it or not...
Good luck and I hope you believe me about the dating :D