Gender

Female

Location

Portland, OR

Birthday:

November 3

Hometown:

Yreka, California

Relationship Status:

Single

About Me:

My life is currently under construction. Complete overhaul. It has been a time like no other in my life. My mothers death and all the variables and circumstances surrounding that has resulted in an ongoing transformation. Since mom died, I lost 12 other people, including close family and friends mostly. There has also been quite a few unexpected and extremely challenging, even criminal events of which I have been the recipient. My faith is waning, yet deep down faith is at least a whisper I am faintly aware of. So, that's the string I hang on to as I move toward getting on in life. Of course, there is much more to my life than the present grief process, yet that currently is ever present, though not always at the forefront. Transformation also requires learning and that has been simultaneously uncomfortable and exciting. Everything in my life has changed from the city and state I live in, to my career path, to my perspective on life and who I choose to share with, to facing important truths previously too harsh to handle, to recognition of a warrior like quality in myself, to creative skills and expression which laid dormant for far too long. To sum it up, it's been a year (actually 9 months) of tears. I let myself lean into it in effort to heal healthily and accept death is a part of this life. It's a taboo subject. death. And grief can come out unfairly and sideways if the truth is not explored and accepted. I thought I owed it to myself and others to "normalize" the experience as much as possible. So, here I am giving faceless strangers an honest account of what I have been up to and the significant role many taboo events have played in to continuing to make me all growed up. Not the way I would have wanted to have that occur, yet as excruciating as it is to experience loss verifies everything, including our illness is temporary. In fact, I have come believe death is probably the next big beautiful event we experience. None of is getting out alive, so I prefer this outlook. For the time I am on earth I want to ensure my body is well taken care of in order to better take part in and enjoy life. Good health is just about everything! Oh, and humor. Despite the death blog, I am really funny and love to laugh hyena style.