WHY DO PEOPLE ASSUME YOU NEED PITY????

Okay.. now this is way I think ppl are so ignorant (stupid)! Maybe I’m wrong but I don't care.

Okay I met this guy, nothing serious we just went to dinner to chit chat. So while at dinner, we are talking about this and that and I go on to tell him about being apart or starting a Vitiligo Awareness Group down her in the DC/MD/VA area.

So of course he ask me "A WHAT?". So I explain to him what vitiligo was is. An Autoimmune disease called vitiligo that causes the loss of pigment.

SO WHY DID THIS FOOL SAY TO ME IN THE NEXT BREATH......"DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK OR SAY?"

Okay, did he not understand who the hell he was out at dinner with?? What type of comment was that. I had to let his A@# know who he was dealing with....lol.

1st. I didn't say anything about me WORRYING about what anyone thought or had to say.

2nd. He didn't even know what vitiligo was or that I had it until I told him.

3rd. I know for a FACT that I didn't LOOK, ACT, or APPEAR to need any pitty or sympathy.

And yeah he tried to clean it up and I explained to him how stupied he sounded and how I was a bit offended.

OMG... That comment alone, based on me just telling him how I wanted to start a group and then having to explain what vitiligo was. HE TOOK IT FOR A NEGATIVE by making that comment.

I had to do a double take. He took my positive spin, my joy, my acceptance, my uniqueness, my sexy diva licious skin color and made it sound like I needed pity or as if I was at the F@!# dinner table crying about my skin and how people can't deal with people talking about me or something.

Okay I understand that people are coping with the condition so don't get me wrong because I’ve been there. But before I even mentioned what vitiligo was to him I know I didn't look like I needed any pity parties thrown for me! This fool just "thought" I was light skin or a "red bone".

Its comments like that, in which people make when you tell them what you have and they automatically assume you "must" be suffering or in distress. The mindset of people is that they must feel pity for you because of what you have. And trust me..I DON'T LOOK LIKE I NEED ANY PITY.

They better check my record and come correct.

Okay, Im done venting, SMOOCHES!

Nice one Ciney, I can tell you I have experienced this over and over and its even worse now that am running a Foundation. I receive sms, email and phone calls telling me that am still beautiful that I shouldn't bother myself talking about Vitiligo. I usually first ask through my reply what is Vitiligo? It usually happens that they just see the pics and jump to the conclusion that one needs pity or sympathy and as far as am concerned they are just patronizing one.

I was one in a presentation workshop and we were to present on a topic of our choice, I choose 'The truth about MJ's Skin Color'....I was on my presentation when I started seeing tears and all, afterwards everybody was suppose to make comments and rate you, most of the comments I got was that Ogo, this is not something to laugh about its a serious matter. Question time a lady told me bluntly that I did well but that I shouldn't smile or make it look like fun whenever am talking about it otherwise people wont feel pity or sympathize with us. I asked a question, what does it mean to live Positively? She couldn't answer of course

I am always quick to correct anyone who tells me 'sorry o, its well, you are still beautiful...etc That we do not need pity but understanding.

There is a whole lot work of work for us to do on Vitiligo Awareness, the general public are simply ignorant and they really need education.

Good one Ciney, get is out straight with them

Replies

Marty BlackEagle-Carl August 31, 2010 at 5:54am

okay, that a new one on me.... "red bone"???
Dawn L-B August 7, 2010 at 5:42am

Idiots!!! It's happening every where and every day. I doubt it will ever end.
Ogo Maduewesi August 5, 2010 at 10:58pm

Nice one Ciney, I can tell you I have experienced this over and over and its even worse now that am running a Foundation. I receive sms, email and phone calls telling me that am still beautiful that I shouldn't bother myself talking about Vitiligo. I usually first ask through my reply what is Vitiligo? It usually happens that they just see the pics and jump to the conclusion that one needs pity or sympathy and as far as am concerned they are just patronizing one.

I was one in a presentation workshop and we were to present on a topic of our choice, I choose 'The truth about MJ's Skin Color'....I was on my presentation when I started seeing tears and all, afterwards everybody was suppose to make comments and rate you, most of the comments I got was that Ogo, this is not something to laugh about its a serious matter. Question time a lady told me bluntly that I did well but that I shouldn't smile or make it look like fun whenever am talking about it otherwise people wont feel pity or sympathize with us. I asked a question, what does it mean to live Positively? She couldn't answer of course

I am always quick to correct anyone who tells me 'sorry o, its well, you are still beautiful...etc That we do not need pity but understanding.

There is a whole lot work of work for us to do on Vitiligo Awareness, the general public are simply ignorant and they really need education.

Good one Ciney, get is out straight with them
Que Chunn June 23, 2010 at 9:24pm

I LUV IT BOO!!!! YOU KNOW THAT YOUR THE BOMB!!!! I TRIP OFF THAT TYPE OF STUFF MYSELF & I HAVEN'T EVEN TURN ALL THE WAY! IT PISSES ME OFF BUT I JUST CHALK IT UP BECAUSE THEY ARE UNEDUCATED!!! ONE TIME THIS GUY TOLD ME THAT I WOULD LOOK REAL GOOD ONCE I TURNED ALL THE WAY BECAUSE I WOULD BE A "RED BONE" AFTER I SET HIS A@@ STRIAGHT I LEFT HIS A@@ SITTING THERE LOOKING REAL DUMB!!!! I LUV THE FACT THAT YOU DONT LET NO ONE GET YOU DOWN EITHER BECAUSE YOU KNOW THE BEAUTIFUL QUEEN THAT YOU ARE.... KEEP SETTING THEIR A@@ STRIAGHT WHEN NEEDED!!!! YA KNOW WHAT WE SOME BAD CHICS!!!! LUV YA SIS MUAH!!!!
- Ogo Maduewesi > Que Chunn August 5, 2010 at 10:59pm
  
  Nice one Que, really admire you.
- Ciney B > Que Chunn June 24, 2010 at 8:47am
  
  THANK YOU QUE...!
  
  See this is what the hell Im talking about SOME REAL SUPPORT up on here and keeping it real!!!!!!
  
  Thank you Que for understanding and YES gurl... they some uneducated folks. I just can't believe the nerve of some people though. And you got the move down packed.. LEAVE THEIR A@@ LOOKING STUPID....lol. Im telling you and this be no lie... We are all in a boat when dealing with vitiligo, but NOT THE SAME BOAT.
  
  Que I'll hate to see us in the same city...(WATCH OUT WORLD)....lol. And I love the fact that you don't need anyone to validate who you are and you know your value. Thank you for being able to relate to my minor internal drama...lol.
  
  Luv U 2
  - David Ramos > Ciney B August 5, 2010 at 4:39pm
    
    has any of u guys been is high school and others believed u have been burned or have u been in a situation where others call u a cow or albino
    - shavaiz malik > David Ramos August 5, 2010 at 6:19pm
      
      im in high school now....but ppl tend to be really polite to me ..but ya some of teh time eve n ur best friends saus COW to u when ur showing them attitude..lol it happend to me though but i really didnt care much ..
    - Cara Twillie > David Ramos August 5, 2010 at 4:52pm
      
      When I was in high school I was told I wanted to be white so bad I was changing colors! I have been asked if I was burned......when it was less extensive, a police officer told me I forgot to rub in my lotion and tried to rub it in for me on my arm......My student's call me the chocolate dalmation, I laugh at that one and have used it for years. I had a student ask if he could call me free willy and I politely told him not if he intended on passing the 5th grade. I likened myself to a cow one day..........then again........I tend to find humor in people's ignorance. Just me.
Alex Greiss June 16, 2010 at 11:09am

yayyyy smooches lol.

I wouldn't worry too much about it. People make comments like that when they want to be polite but don't understand how. Add in the hot date factor and im sure it was a mix of nervousness and just not knowing what to say. Maybe you're bing too hard on him :P

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