Posted by help_him on September 22, 2010 at 3:51am
Someone very close to me was just diagnosed with vitiligo last month. He is very important to me and I want to learn all I can about the disorder, and find out ways to help him. My question is, what are some things that I could say to show my support? I believe that all of you out there might remember what you needed to hear from your loved ones after being diagnosed, especially your significant others/spouses. I have reassured him as much as I can but what other things can a girlfriend say to show that it doesn't mean I will leave him when he gets more severe?
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Not noing how bad he has it is that everyone is different and he might not spread severly. I have had it for 5 or so yrs and mine really is not progressing. So tell him to relax and see what happens. To answer about what he needs to hear is my wife has no concerns and loves me for all of me and not just what my outside looks like. We have a solid marriage and are best friends but it was nice to hear it from her. I did have some self pity and concerns so I loved hearing her tell me!
Thank you for your input. I think he is getting over the hump of worry. He did say he liked hearing that I don't care about the color or lack thereof in his skin, and that I am there for him. His is spreading rapidly but maybe it will taper off.
That being said, there is a colleague I just met a few weeks ago who I am pretty sure has the same disorder. I am tempted to approach him one-on-one to ask him his experience with it and treatment. I don't know if this is insulting or uncomfortable for someone though since I do not have the disorder I can not decide if this would be rude.
I have some large visible scars from surgeries and I for one prefer it if someone asks me about it rather than just wondering, or wishing for my input when they have the same thing. However, it might not be the same scenario since it is an entirely different experience than having vitiligo.
no, feel free to ask him about it. i would say just do it privately, in a one-on-one conversation. we dont mind talking about it, i know i dont, but i dont want to be the one to bring it up. and he and you b/f would probably like to know they're not alone.
i have a co-worker who has it also, very extensive. mine has just started to develop. we've discussed it now and then.
and as Willima said, your LOVE and underastanding is the best thing you can give your b/f. when in doubt, put yourself in his place, and what would you want from him?
Replies
That being said, there is a colleague I just met a few weeks ago who I am pretty sure has the same disorder. I am tempted to approach him one-on-one to ask him his experience with it and treatment. I don't know if this is insulting or uncomfortable for someone though since I do not have the disorder I can not decide if this would be rude.
I have some large visible scars from surgeries and I for one prefer it if someone asks me about it rather than just wondering, or wishing for my input when they have the same thing. However, it might not be the same scenario since it is an entirely different experience than having vitiligo.
i have a co-worker who has it also, very extensive. mine has just started to develop. we've discussed it now and then.
and as Willima said, your LOVE and underastanding is the best thing you can give your b/f. when in doubt, put yourself in his place, and what would you want from him?