Hi all! I know it has been a while since I have been able to sit down and post a forum on here. Things for the most part have been going pretty well in my life. I still have a job, and I am back in school for the spring semester, and I have moved into my first apartment with a roommate and I am loving this advancement in my life! Still, lately I have been feeling very defensive and agressive with people in public. For instance, if someone walks by me and stares, i am more prone to say something about them being rude or to just ask me already. Usually i have been really good about this but lately, I have not. It's like my focus is on other things, other important things in my life rather than my lack of skin pigment, and the world of people who are looking back at me, well the world is still stuck on looking at me. I know it is not going to change any time soon. So what do i do with these feelings, well, i have started to work out some mornings before my first classes. This usually helps, and I have been really looking into controlling the foods i eat. It helps some, plus I have really been going to church and finding time to focus my thoughts on the religious beliefs i have, and that has helped a lot,, but still my feelings are there, and I have to deal with them. Some days, i honestly feel like screaming out loud and just pointing out all the differences we as people make up and how its OKAY, BUT we, as people place all these expectations on each other for the smallest things. y? well i don't have any supporting answers just yet, but i am enrolled in a human behavior class and im learning some things about people, and myself included on how we act. So here I go again dealing with my up and down feelings, *ehh* the emotions i carry from time to time are really aggravating at times..because well they are feelings and sometimes I just don't like dealing with them. oh well im sure i'll be back to post something sooner than later...thanks for just reading....
ms cookie
Replies
Yikes. You've definitely got a lot on your plate, and the stress is understandable.
I've been completely stressed the F out for a few months now, and it takes a lot for me not to tell whining, nosy people to blow it out their ditty bag. If it's not stares, it's questions. If it's not questions, it's someone whining about the copier being low on toner or their favorite pair of shoes getting destroyed. All I want to do is throttle them and tell them to look at the bigger picture. My life is in shambles at the moment. I really don't f'ing care if my vitiligo puzzles someone or if their dog chewed up the furniture again. Here's the number to my therapist- go call someone who cares! Like you, I'm in a place in my life where vitiligo is at the wee-bitty bottom of a mile-long list of problems. Vitligo can just take a number and get in line.
The exercise is a great idea- endorphins are your friend! It's always nice when everything feels new and uncontrollable and scary to take charge of something you can control- diet, exercise, the color of your toenail polish, whatever. Now if I could just take some of my own advice and stop ripping my hair out, I'd be great.
maybe they were just looking at how cute you are? yes look at the and give them a HUGE smile. you'll feel better and less stressed. trust me.
i dare you, smile big at everyone who 'stares' at you. ;-)
nice baring ur thoughts, can understand the feelings, but really maybe getting more involved in other things dat will occupy ur time will really help so you can focus less on ur loss of skin color.
I rmb before I came out of it all, i tried so many things as well, I embarrassed people, atimes I will go like if you are done with part 1 of the movie let me know so I can slot in Part two....u know all those stuff.
I know that the main thing that helped me out was Accepting me for me, working seriously on mind and being so involved with helping others as well as creating Vitiligo awareness that I rarely remember my own case.
Hoping to read ur next post which I believe will be very positive one and dat of a conqueror