Let down by everything and everyone.

Hi, I havent posted here in a long time so Merry Christmas everyone :) Things with vitiligo has been a little up and down lately. I guess what has most bothered me recently what this man I had fallen deeply for, as soon as I told him I had vitiligo he STOPPED emailing me and never heard of him again , just like that ! Everything was fine until my confession was accompanied in a picture attachment of the area under my neck with three small spots i got there and BAM goodbye baybe. And its a fact that hes online because he has been posting updates and such in his page so there are really no excuses : He rejected me! ( He even said he was a perfectionist in his facebook page several days later , I guess i didn't fit through his pathetic requirements) As the calm person I am, I have dealt with it by taking no guilt in this at all for I cant help im flawed this way. I have rationalized it , forgot about it, then remembered it again , even used humor to relieve the whys in my head but there's no escaping he is not the only one who has done this vile act of cowardice before which brings me to believe a lot of men are going just after looks? Actions do speak louder than words , generalizations fair or unfair are all uncovered and challenged by the movement of atrocious thoughts put into even more atrocious actions and many of them have revealed their true beings at the slightest sign of discomfort , that is me not being an all perfect angel they expected me to be, yet women with lots of tattoos are very normal and even desirable . Go figure the great impact of such petty skin differences ! But these kind of men are not such a big deal compared with all the uselessness disguised as "cures" and explanations from both religion and spirituality. I have had with it with gurus,know-it all alls , potions , metaphysical wishy washy affirmations and three steps visualizations, reiki, praying, laying their hands all for nothing. If anything it could frustrate you even more to hear the blank statements these people have to say about our disease such as Loise Hay who says that Vitiligo comes from the belief/feeling of Not belonging. Feeling completely outside of things. Not one of the group and that the solution is just simply to affirm t o yourself I am at the very centre of life and I am totally connected in love. Yes , of course and im wondering about new borns and very little kids who got the disease (like me at 4 years old) who's concept of self isnt even developed yet for this law to apply to them. I certainly didnt feel any of that shes talking about at 4 years old when vitiligo first appeared. You cannot just make a blank statement to fit everyone underneath without knowing each personal case, mostly a good deal of spiritual healing are going by this inflexible black and white concepts and if you are not careful they suck you in with pretty lies and right to your pocket so watch out and dont believe everything you hear! I dont know what else to say other than this wasn't a bad year but neither a really good year. However, whatever goes down you must not repress it , always find a safe space to unleash your passions and frustrations before they show up in your skin,because they certainly do. I am going to sleep now, I will reply to your comments in the morning. good night!

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  • 2011 will be the year for you. He cheated his self instead of looking at your physical appearance which you are very pretty lady, he never sought your inner beauty , which is you heart .
  • Hey Yari and Happy Holidays to you!  I hope that you will not let one person's ignorance put doubts in your mind about your self worth! Unfortunately, everyone is not OK with vitiligo.  I hope that one day, there will be more awareness about it and that will alleviate some of the fear. To be honest, a man who is that shallow, you do not need anyway.  In the long run, he did you a favor!

    -Brandy

    • definitely, what would be his excuse if it wasnt the Vit?? too many freckles, uneven toes, doesnt like your hair or eyes or nose or boobs... he's too shallow. sooo much better off without him.
  • wow... he sounds like a loser. you're better off without him, and lucky you, u found out what a shallow ass he is before it  got too serious. i just looked at your picture, and you're beautiful. so i dont know what he problem is. there is NO Such think as a perfect human being. so he's on an endless journey, while you're available to meet mr right. ;-)

    rejoice to have that loser gone. then look at your self like you have a problem, he does.

    • you're right, spiritual practices is suppose to make you more compassionate.  sounds like he's more involved in himself then in others... sounds like he's got a long journey to go. How old is he btw? younger guys are more superficial then older guys. 20yr olds want that perfect woman/man, the older we get and see our own flaws, the more we accept 'flaws' in others and see beyond them to the person beyond.

       

      Happy New Year... Look for someone who sees you beyond your spots.

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