i hate summer

first i am a new member i joined so i could communicate with other people that could understand how i feel. ok lets see in the beginning it was all fine untill i was in my early 20"s and notice my first spot of white skin, i thought nothing of it. as time went on it got worse spreading now to probably 35% of my body arms legs neck privates etc... i was always outgoing i enjoyed the outdoors i couldnt wait for the summer , now i hate it. see in my case in the winter it blends in pretty well (dont tan ) so i almost feel normal again what is norman? to the average person i sure as hell am not normal how can i be? there is obviously something wrong with me i have spots that are discolored. people stare point snicker for what, i thought it was good to be different, then why are we outcasts. we are tought to be indaviduals and when we have something like this that we cant control then  no one understands. i am one of the lucky ones i guess i have a wife and 2 kids and my wife is great very supportive , but i still cant help feeling that im holding her back from a better life. i never want to go anywhere i never wanna leave my house as a result of this she is limited to what she does i sometimes wanna get divorced not because i dont love her but to set her free. i hope i pray that my kids dont  get this from me i guess i shouldnt say that word  pray if there is a god then why would he do this to good people i guess thats another thing i can say i will never understand . then the best is you go to doctor he says try cream try pills try lights blah blah blah and he doesnt have 1 spoy of vitilago at all . the docs say its just cosmetic and i say bull shit maybe it is only skin deep but its not. do these docs know how mentally devastating it is to grow up as a outcast or as some would say a freak. how can i show love when i i was  never shown any? all i want is for people to say its ok to be different and not judge us . if someone has a disabailty everyone one excepts it and everyone helps the insurenace the goverment even strangers will lend a hand but for us we are supposed to stay in the shadows wear make up to try to blend into there normal world. in the wild a animal is multi colored and its called beautiful. but here in the real world u have certain criteria and if u are not within those guide lines you are not excepted and thats just not right. hope fully someone reading this can relate to me and give me some advice on what to do about my outlook on life and maybe some treatment ideas. oh and once again i hate summer.

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  • dude you have a family that you need to be strong for. you have a whole lot to lose! so man up and ask your wife what she wants to do and go do it regardless of your vitiligo. ig it sunny wear sunblock, highest spf possible to prevent tanning. that's the best advice i have to give. i dont like summer either because like you, during the winter i get to be "normal" whatever, there are infinite possibilities at hand and things dont always go the way you planned.

    ps: the government planned dinosaur extinction.
    • as far as the fraze man up i do everyday i wake up and face this cold hate filled world get dressed and head to work . to me a man is someone that no matter how they feel or in my ( our ) case looks i go to work and support my family, i deal with the stares questions etc... for them and no other reason
  • Come on , you are the Man. Just ignoring those white things. you know more and more people are getting have this kind of skin because of the pressure, pollution, weid food and so on. Don't worry about that just enjoy the sunshine and show the white spots to any stranger. who knows maybe she or he just hiding that white things by covering something els. or maybe his or her family members have the same skin problem. Relax and enjoy everyday.

    take care
    • i know it seems like i have noticed more and more people getting this vitilago maybe when micheal jackson died it brought so much light on the subject it helped make it more exceptable?
  • jay g !! Welcome to Vitiligo Friends !! You raised a lot of interesting points which were more or less in my mind too.

    One was - where does God fit in with the Vitiligo equation? I still have no answer !! May be it is a test !!

    Like everyone above me has said - you are so lucky to have a supportive wife and 2 kids. Don't ever leave them because of your Vitiligo. There is this famous quote which goes as " To the world you might be one person - but to one person you might be the world".

    Force yourself out of the house - and go out with your family as often as you can. Don't have eye contact with strangers - if you think they are staring at you. They are just being ignorant. That is their problem.

    If your doctor recommended some kind of treatment - why not go for it ??!! It might at least control the spreading. And take enough of Vitamin B12, Folic Acid, and Copper and Zinc. And try to find a hobby that can take your mind off of Vitiligo. Music is a good start. It really helps me.

    Take care !!
  • Welcome Jay,

    I think all of us in this group totally feel your pain. I hate summer too. This condition sucks big time and we wonder why me. I went through the why me woe is me stage for a long time. I have to tell you it is not healthy. You have to draw from something deep inside and come out of that. You are blessed to have a supportive wife and kids. I found that if I present a confident happy face to the world, 99% of the time I get positive feedback. Even though it is still a small struggle for me to get out and face the world each day I do it. I wear face make up but nothing on my hands , arms, legs and neck. Because I stayed indoors and out of the sun, I think that was a contributing factor in my developing a severe Vitamin D deficiency. I am out practically every day now.
    While I have not given up hope I don't see a cure on the horizon. So I am determined to live my life and you should too. Don't become a recluse. . NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU (US)!! I love the great suggestion that Abby gave about taking up horseback riding. Find something that you love and throw yourself into it. Go out with your wife and kids. Use their love as a shield against your insecurities. When you feel down and want to rant and even whine, folks here will listen. Don't let this condition steal your joy.

    Pat
  • What helps for me is seeing myself as a beautiful, confident, individual human being. I do things I love and I've met a lot of my friends through doing it because they don't focus on my spots. If you hold yourself back you're only going to get depressed. You should find a riding center in your area - horses don't judge people and neither do the riders! There's no time to stare at someone else when you have to control a 1,200 pound animal. Just accept yourself for who you are and learn to love yourself and people can do the same to you.



    ♥Abby
    • abby thank your for your suggestions and i do have stuff i like to do like go 4 wheeling in maine on my quad having family over for a bbq. i just wanted to say thanks and that u are wise beyond your years.
  • I pray that you really feel the love your wife and kids have for you. That you learn to love yourself so that you may enjoy life with them, no matter what other people are doing. Go out and it will teach your kids more than you can ever imagine. Think positive, be positive and count your blessings. I also have 2 beautiful children, who so far do not have vitiligo, they are 14 and 8. You also have a wife that loves you. Many people don't have that even if they don't have vitiligo.
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