Posted by sunny on February 5, 2016 at 10:36pm in Main
Hi All ,
I am very new to this place , glad I found some good friends here already and been talking to them . feel that we all are in same boat and got stranded in ocean LOL .
anyways, I don't want to give advices on treatments and medicines , everyone else are already doing that, and I wish one day a vitiligo free planet , I hope so the day is not so far .
so I thought a bit different and want to share my idea of marrying a girl with same condition ? to give more insight about this , here is the precursor to my idea .
I was on a long journey in flight , watched some movies and thinking about the discussion I had with my mom previous night regarding my marriage . I am 27 and she was asking me to get married as soon as possible , After my break up with a girl ( after 9 yrs in relation ) I was shattered and now I don't feel like getting married , cause if I don't get an understanding girl , the repercussions will be in a negative way and I will increase more problems rather than solving it , then the provoking thought which came up to me was why cant I marry a girl with same condition ?
THIS IS JUST LIKE, A DOCTOR GETTING MARRIED TO A DOCTOR AND SAME WITH ANY PROFESSION , WHY NOT BRING A CHANGE IN YOURSELF AND GETTING MARRIED TO A PERSON WITH SAME CONDITION AS YOU ARE ????
WHY DO I SUPPORT: we need not pretend anything and nothing to hide and both can lead a wonderful life ahead with no differences and concentrate on their life and career perspectives . its not contagious and definitely we can prove a point to the world that your child will not get this condition .
please share your opinions guys , how many will support this and if you have any points to express , please do share them . Thanks one and all .
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Your discussion on the marriage and finding the right person, I have had this problem for many years and it is difficult to come to terms that there is no one , out there made for me, I have been searching for that special guy for long while since I was 20 years of age am now 49 years of age, people who know me says that they cannot believe that I have not found any one, but that is the difference because my friends know the real me, the caring lovely person behind the vitiligo. While others have judged me for the skin I have. But I have been through so much heartache and tears that finally now my skin is all one colour an I do not wear make up any more, my problem now is I cannot find a match because of my age.
It is nice to share with other what the heart feels.................... Sapnay
I am sorry to hear that sapnay. society in general is mainly interested about external appearances than look out for internal things . there were many instances this was proved and only problem with our condition is its visible to everyone and 60% of people think its harmful than Cancer/HIV which stays invisible . Sad but its truth , hope you find the special guy soon .stay strong and be happy :)
I completely agree with points you mentioned, that vit is not contagious, but I want to mention that if both the parents had vitiligo, there might be more chances for the children to get vit. This is most sad thing but true..
Hope you get what you really wished for :) Good luck!!!
I too think the same way....act m a lil scared regarding this...my parents too are planning to get me married soon...and if a guy has the same condition...he will understand me better...emotionally
I found one girl in this forum few years ago. We started chatting, talking, and now this girl is a love of my life. She flew for 26 hours in plane to be with me and now we are a very happy couple.
I agree to an extent with your analogy. It's like you are saying you will only be with someone who has white hair because you have white hair, so having that in common should make you both understand and accept the ups and downs that come with having white hair.
I would say don't single out who to fall in love with, because of an immune disease/ disorder. I guess if it makes you more comfortable to be with someone with vitiligo to feel equal, that is your decision. My opinion is don't use scales to measure the importance of a relationship. Instead use time, true love is for eternity.
But whoever you choose to be with and marry, hopefully it is for all the right reasons.
Thanks Anthony for your views . Obviously at the end of the day love has to be der without that you can never be living peaceful life with your partner .
I mean you can search and get to know a person who is in same boat rather than jumping into sea without even knowing how to swim nor carrying a safety jacket .
The world stats says that 4- 5% ppl r affected with vitiligo and there are like 90% cases where I have see a vitiligo guy/girl married a non-vitiligo , which is good and it feels happy to see that some one is matured enough to understand that this is not a DISEASE.
its just a thought which I shared here and there is nothing to deny your opinion , Thanks for the best wishes and I reciprocate the same . Nice to meet you here .
You need to make sure that you also share the same interests and are physically attracted to each other.Marriage should happen naturally with both party's interest in wanting to live together. Marrying someone who also has vitiligo is not like 2 doctors getting married; you may only share thoughts about how vitiligo makes you feel like and you can emphasise each other but your personalities, interests, and intellects etc might be completely different! Take it easy and good luck!
Replies
Hi Sunny
Your discussion on the marriage and finding the right person, I have had this problem for many years and it is difficult to come to terms that there is no one , out there made for me, I have been searching for that special guy for long while since I was 20 years of age am now 49 years of age, people who know me says that they cannot believe that I have not found any one, but that is the difference because my friends know the real me, the caring lovely person behind the vitiligo. While others have judged me for the skin I have. But I have been through so much heartache and tears that finally now my skin is all one colour an I do not wear make up any more, my problem now is I cannot find a match because of my age.
It is nice to share with other what the heart feels.................... Sapnay
I am sorry to hear that sapnay. society in general is mainly interested about external appearances than look out for internal things . there were many instances this was proved and only problem with our condition is its visible to everyone and 60% of people think its harmful than Cancer/HIV which stays invisible . Sad but its truth , hope you find the special guy soon .stay strong and be happy :)
Hello Sunny,
I liked ur post!!!
I completely agree with points you mentioned, that vit is not contagious, but I want to mention that if both the parents had vitiligo, there might be more chances for the children to get vit. This is most sad thing but true..
Hope you get what you really wished for :) Good luck!!!
I found one girl in this forum few years ago. We started chatting, talking, and now this girl is a love of my life. She flew for 26 hours in plane to be with me and now we are a very happy couple.
I agree to an extent with your analogy. It's like you are saying you will only be with someone who has white hair because you have white hair, so having that in common should make you both understand and accept the ups and downs that come with having white hair.
I would say don't single out who to fall in love with, because of an immune disease/ disorder. I guess if it makes you more comfortable to be with someone with vitiligo to feel equal, that is your decision. My opinion is don't use scales to measure the importance of a relationship. Instead use time, true love is for eternity.
But whoever you choose to be with and marry, hopefully it is for all the right reasons.
Good luck to you and your future wife and family!
Thanks Anthony for your views . Obviously at the end of the day love has to be der without that you can never be living peaceful life with your partner .
I mean you can search and get to know a person who is in same boat rather than jumping into sea without even knowing how to swim nor carrying a safety jacket .
The world stats says that 4- 5% ppl r affected with vitiligo and there are like 90% cases where I have see a vitiligo guy/girl married a non-vitiligo , which is good and it feels happy to see that some one is matured enough to understand that this is not a DISEASE.
its just a thought which I shared here and there is nothing to deny your opinion , Thanks for the best wishes and I reciprocate the same . Nice to meet you here .
You need to make sure that you also share the same interests and are physically attracted to each other.Marriage should happen naturally with both party's interest in wanting to live together. Marrying someone who also has vitiligo is not like 2 doctors getting married; you may only share thoughts about how vitiligo makes you feel like and you can emphasise each other but your personalities, interests, and intellects etc might be completely different! Take it easy and good luck!
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