I haven't posted here in quite some time, been busy working a new job with a crazy schedule and hours.
However, I did believe for a time that what I have (on my face, under and near eyes and a spot on my forehead) was NOT vit, and was basically in denial that it is what I have. I have no doubt now, even though a derm told me it was NOT, but she didn't look at it under Wood's Light either. I think she just tried to rush me out of there. Have thought about getting a blacklight but in all honesty I think seeing this and how extensive it is would send me right over the edge emotionally and mentally. So I have decided NOT to do that.
Anyhow, I know now that I have something definitely going on internally. there is NO doubt about it. Mornings without makeup, I literally look "blank" like my face has disappeared that is how pale it is naturally. Under my eyes is HORRIBLE looking there is NO color there to speak of and now my cheekbones have none, nor my eyelids all the way up to the browbone, either...:( It's frightening to be honest...the makeup routine is long and tedious and getting really old to be honest. I think I am going to ask the med doc about protopic on Monday, as I have an appt. to see what is happening (get blood work done, levels of everything checked, etc.)...diabetes runs in my family as does vascular problems so I will hae a lengthy medical hisotry to share!!
My question is, I am currently using Obagi Nu Derm in efforts to even out the rest of my skin to make this horrible white look less so....it doesn't seem to be doing much honestly. The unaffected skin looks GREAT and healthy...under my eyes is still bright, glowing white though. I must cry at least once a day over looking like this and don't go anywhere except for work (as I Have to work but hate it, as I work with the public).
I need to start taking vitimins again, I have a pharmacyworth of them! Also try to drink more water (def. am dehydrated, I drink a lot of coffee but no water most days)....If I use this Protopic just on my white (i currently don't put Obagi product there at all), do you think it would be safe? Or would this be a question for a derm? Don't know what the med dco will say about it but I am DESPERATE to make this better SOMEHOW without having a mask of makeup on constantly. ANy ideas or thoughts? Thanks in advance, thank GOD for these boards, they keep me sane!
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I'd go to another dermatologist. While it certainly sounds like Vitiligo, if one said it wasn't then I'd ask another if it is, and if not what do they think it is. There are other pigment changing type skin conditions out there, so I'd be more concerned about a correct diagnosis than treatment at this point. And don't stop going to new dermatologists until you get an answer! There is an answer, even if it's what you suspect and it is Vitiligo.
Ask one of your close friends about the skin color - you'll be surprised at what others don't notice. And if it truly is Vitiligo, as hard as it is - embrace it. It's going to be your new life-long friend. I have my rough days with it, but it's important to remember that we're still here and if we want to treat it, we have options. Protopic worked great on my face as a teenager and a younger adult when I wanted to try to combat the spots. You may also reach a point where you're done fighting it like I am, or you might be able to repigment your face, but all of that starts with a correct diagnosis and talking with a dermatologist. I hope this helps!
thanks Rachel! My best friend visited me at the store I work at about a month ago...she told me she could honestly not see anything wrong with my skin (but that was with good makeup!). she hasn't seen me WITHOUT it....which borders on ugly and hideous (even though I am very light anyway)...the stark contrast is soooo noticable I would never leave my house without makeup for any reason, which really sucks....but it's my choice, I couldn't handle the stares...and people WOULD stare it is that noticable.
I think the advice to seek out another derm is a good one, however could be a problem for me as I have no health insurance and even though I work full time now, the premiums are not something I can afford (shoestring budget as it is another ongoing stressor)...so I am pretty much stuck with visits to sliding scale clinics but maybe this doc tomorrow will have another idea. Sure hope I can at least get some answers! This is really getting very very hard to live with...:(
sigh....well I went to see the doc, he literally looked awy (quickly but we all know how that feels and can tell right away) after I asked him if I looked totally awful with no makeup on (you can always tell how someone's eye's shift even for a second)..his did and he turned beet red when he answered/stammered, "no, not at all." Then I heard the usual BS about how this is NOT a real issue but a "cosmetic" one, I wanted to scream and punch him in the face, literally...disgusted is not the word to describe how I feel right about now..he didn't seem overly concerned on my request to see if this is auto immune related I could feel that "vibe"...
To make myself feel a bit better, I hit Rite Aid on the way home and got some of the Jergen's Glo I have heard some of you are using in fair/medium tone....know what? It's strange but at this point, I feel like this is ME and how I look (although I am not to stage where I will not cover it up in any and every way)....even so, this is not going away, it's NOT going to be instantly "normal" any given morning so I have to keep trudging on and dealing the best way I can...that for me is to accept myself as I am (although it's so hard, I wish it were anywhere but on my face, anywhere at all)...that being said I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and just present ME the best me I can achieve while living with this, as we all do and are...hugs to all of you my friends...have been told my eyes are/were my best feature my entire life (until this hit me)....I have to focus the energies on what I have that is good and make the rest as presentable as possible and screw the rest! Including people who stare/judge.....ignorance can be a very bad thing and in all honesty if this was NOT what I was dealing with but I saw someone else who looked a bit "different" before I would be full of questions (but not outright stare, that is rude to do to anyone for any reason)...would just wonder WHY their skin "looked like that"...for now good makeup is my Godsend while out in public, that and the support of a wonderful group like all of you...so I thank you truly..
I'm so sorry you're experiencing this! I know that the doctor I first saw has won multiple awards for her treatment of patients, but I had hoped she wasn't quite that exceptional! The doctors in your area clearly need sensitivity training. Hang in there!
I just saw an aricle about spray tanning, not sure but it might help you feel more comfortable? Might be worth looking into. There's also some sort of 'second skin' cosmetic that is more 'hardy' than typical make-up that you might want to look at. Especially if you're still feeling this way. I hope things get better for you soon.