Forum

grudge on my mom

Posted by Francis on November 23, 2011 at 6:20pm in Main

Do any of u who went to school with vit hold a grudge on your parents for not home schooling you?  I know I do. ( a lil )  I begged my mom to keep me home.  When she said no I begged her to buy me makeup in elementary and she still said NO!  If she only knew how aweful it was for me......memories that still affect me today. 

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  • Brandy December 1, 2011 at 3:50am
    I can understand where you are coming from and I do harbor somewhat of a "grudge" against my parents. My issue was that they never wanted to address (or treat) my vitiligo and had sort of a "get over it, it could be worse" attitude. Which may be fine for some children/people with a certain type of personality, but that approach was pretty devastating to me. Because to me, that meant my sadness and anxieties were unfounded and overly dramatic. I just sucked it up and did my best to cover my vit with makeup and hair dye (my vit, including hair patches, really took off in middle school).  They still have no idea how their reaction to my vitiligo affected my self esteem and I see no point in telling them now. The closest I ever came was when my younger sister was struggling with depression and my mother told her to "just wake up and decide to be in a good mood, it's not that hard." All I could really say was that just because she didn't understand someone else's feelings doesn't mean they aren't valid. Get my sister to a doctor and let a professional give her advice. Sigh...I feel like I've gone on too long, but a parent's attitude about their child's vitiligo has so much impact. If either if my children end up with vitiligo and they cry and are teased and want to be homeschooled I would not hesitate. I would never make them sit through seven hours of teasing five days a week. Sure, they need to accept themselves and not be ashamed of their skin or anything else. And no, they wouldn't be allowed to hide from they world. But to make a child deal with issues that even some adults can't handle, and do it alone at school all day while trying to learn, isn't something I'd force my children to do. BUT that is the worst case scenario. I'd do everything I could to help their confidence: makeup if they wanted it, educating their teachers/classmates, counseling, etc.

    Brandy
    • Francis > Brandy December 1, 2011 at 11:45am

      Its nice to hear you have some of the same feelings I did and still do.  I think because its not life threatening its considered not as devastating but it feels that way to a child.  School was the worst for me.   I hated it so much.  As adults you can get away from certain enviroments but not us, stuck at school all day...ughhhh....aweful....Thanks for commenting on my thread.  :)

  • Raj desai November 29, 2011 at 4:27am

    no :)

  • Francis November 25, 2011 at 5:35pm
    I love this reply.... You're probably so right.... Thanks Anthony!
  • Chavaughn Christie November 25, 2011 at 2:47pm
    You are very pretty tho so keep on doing your best and good luck to you
    • Francis > Chavaughn Christie November 25, 2011 at 4:02pm
      Hey thanks Chavaughn for the compliment.... And I see u feel my pain.... She took me to see a doctor, let's see, oh yea 1 time. Only once and whn they said there is no cure it was like she said "just deal with it" to a 7 yr old.... I know she loved me but she just didn't understand...
      • nisha r > Francis November 27, 2011 at 12:27pm

        i have a kid with vit since 2 yrs.  Please tell me how wud it have helped you being homeschooled ? 

        • Francis > nisha r November 27, 2011 at 4:48pm
          Hi, for me vit spread rapidly when I first got it. I didn't understand it... I had it all over my face, hands, really everywhere. Being home schooled would of helped me by not being bullied every single day... Some days were worse than others but at home I felt safe. I know there is a point that every child is picked on or bullied but trust me when u look so different it's like a free for all at that childs expense... It just would of been easier to be home until I could accept what I was for myself.
          • nj > Francis November 28, 2011 at 5:10am

            Francis i know its tough when some1 bullies u for no fault.. but hiding is not the solution.. unfortunately this is one thing world will see there will be no way to hide...how long will u hide ? 

             

            The thing that is missing was lack of education amongst those kids.

            If your parents and teachers made an effort to explain the kid what it is maybe there attitude would have changed. You can change it for others around you... if u see a school kid next time u know in neighborhood who is facing similar trouble it maybe vit or way they look different help them out... can take aid of societies formed today to educate these people. Awareness is the key here.

             

            try to reduce that bitterness - add some friends who are world for u and minus those who bullied u (they are important in ur life till the time u keep them alive in ur mind) and move on..learn to forgive and accept the people way they are.They were actually weak to accept people way they are and poor people have lack of understanding  that's y they missed to have u as a beautiful person-cum-friend in their lives:)

            • Francis > nj November 28, 2011 at 4:11pm
              Thanks for your kind words nj.  I do try to give advice to others with vit.  Atleast I can help that way. :)
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