Even tough this is a tough topic to talk about , I think its time to come to terms with it. We vitiligo people , or at least me in this case will never be as lucky with dating as people without this disease .
Simply because it is nature and years of evolution work to make sure that flawed genes lose opportunities to jump in the gene pool.
Even if having kids its not in someone's plan , deep in the back of their minds we are hardwired to desire offspring and the looks of vitiligo send a clear message to the person in front of us of the possible coming hereditary health problems, thus they opt to leave us behind in search of a more proper fit for their aspirations and I dont blame them for doing this , its perfectly understandable .
I mean who really closes their eyes and night and dream of their dream partner having some strange white spots all over their bodies ? There are those who claim personality and talent play a big role on attraction but so what? There are a million girls and boys out there with awesome personalities too and way more talent than me , AND without this crap to deal with, they will always win.
And its not a matter of self-steem either . You can be the funnest greatest most charming individual around and yet the superficiality of others (specially in America) will triumph over whatever you think its important to consider.
To deny this fact of life, is like denying death itself but no matter how many times they have witness the simplicity of this rather hard truth some of us choose to be stubborn , and continue bumping their heads against walls in search for the one god has for them. God is compassionate , humans deviate.
Let me tell you what , i have vitiligo because my grandpa had it and so a cousin,and surely enough the viti gene came from further down the line. At some point of my life I felt angry that my grandpa had to reproduce sending his troubled seed to the future but then I remembered that he was just a poor countryman with no access to preventative methods of birth control but now we know better.
It disconcerts me when I see vitiligo people having so many children, makes me cry to think than any of them would have to go through with a disease that has no cure , even if there is the promise of a future fix we will never know for sure when this would happen. The most horrifying part of this whole situation is when parents speculate there's only a small percent chance of their kids getting it, ignoring that even if they dont get it surely maybe their grandchildren and so on will , like it happened to me in my family. STOP THE CHAIN PLEASE!
Why not just adopt and save yourself money , time, worries , endless visits to doctors "you cannot be on the sunlight " speeches by being responsible and taking full control of your sexuality instead like a victim of "It just happened" In this age nothing just happens , with so many effective birth control methods we are the only left to blame for these accidents. I personally know a friend that has been married for about 10 years, they do not wish to have children for now and have determinately go full lengh and used what its called the shot to avoid pregnancy with much success .
The battle against vitiligo is not to make more of us , but to abstain in the name of shortening pain and extending pleasure . Wipe the tears of the earth , do not make her cry anymore ...
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Given that Vitiligo only affects 1-2% of the population and it's only found to be hereditary in 1/3 of all cases, the odds are that the majority of offspring by those with Vitiligo will not be affected by Vitiligo.
I am the only one in my family who has Vitiligo, this going back 3-4 generations. I have had it since childhood and am now 99% depigmented. Other auto-immune illnesses run in my family but Vitiligo does not.
As I'm not married, I'm not planning on having children anytime soon but Vitiligo would be my last concern. There are a host of other genetic illness that run in my family, those of which haven't affected me. But those illnesses take a higher presidence of worry than Vitiligo.
Lets NOT take the responses to a different level. This is a tough, complicated topic. Mersi is just trying to convey her point what she believes. That's what her opinion. Lets respect that. Leave it there.
As you know, we all are vitiligo family members. We certainly come from different cultures with different family background. We have our own thought processes, opinions abnove all, culture certainly plays a great role in living in society and also depending on the country of living.
Having this condition, we all have good days, bad days. Depending on days, our opinions change too, YES, that can happen. I am fine usually. Something happens, suddenly, I go to the bottom of the ocean. Just by reading the forum discussions, I found peace and courage. TRUE. This forum is powerful and strong. It has majic. I shared some things with forum members, I did not even share with my family members.
Hope my comments make sense.
AX Woman > Nathan YetiSeptember 18, 2010 at 9:08am
Hello Mr. Yeti,
I don't see where people are taking it to a different level, every response thus far has addressed the contents of the original post. If someone has an opinion, it can be disagreed with. If someone posts a thought on a public forum, they are opening themselves up to be interacted with. If someone poses their opinion as a fact, then someone else is well within reason to refute those statements with substantiated evidence. If someone insists on imposing their ideology on a bunch of strangers, I guarantee you, there will be pushback.
Nathan Yeti > AX WomanSeptember 18, 2010 at 10:44am
AX Woman: Thanks for your note. You are correct 200%. I must admit I probably did not write well. My apologies. When I said different level, my intention was to reduce the number of huge emotional responses simply. Based on the responses on this post, I can smell where this discussion is heading. Hence, made a humble request. I am not creator of the post, I am not even supporting it. We had another discussion about a year ago someone initiated. There were a number of responses back, some of them were not very pleasant to even read. Just trying to avoid repeat scenario, that's all. Nothing more, nothing less. Yes, this is open forum. Everyone is free to post, respond, absolutely.
" I remembered that he was just a poor countryman with no access to preventative methods of birth control but now we know better"
this man you are talking about is a human being , who am 100 % sure was a loving and smart man ,but unfortunately his granddaughter did not took that gene from him !
ps . i think your just an angry kid ! i cant imagine this way of thinking from adults
i couldnt disagree with u more.
i got mine from my maternal grandmother. hers developed in her 60's. she never knew it was genetic. i didnt till after her death when i looked into and realized my chances of coming down with it were great. so i've been waiting. she died at 91 in 2006, i started showing it last year at 50.
do i love my grandmother any less?. never, i miss her more now as i wish i could of spend more time with her easing what even fears she had with it. as she wasnt computer literate, i dont know what info she had. probably what ever little bit of knowledge her primary told her.
since this disease is not physically painful, life threatening or anything short of something my ego has to deal with, if i'm going to get a genetic disease, i think this is the one i'd rather get. it'll be less painful then the RA i'll probably inherit from my mother,
what are be suppose to do, not have children because they might inherit illnesses from us, that might be cured in their life time???
Bah... grow a pair... survival of the fittest.
Replies
I am the only one in my family who has Vitiligo, this going back 3-4 generations. I have had it since childhood and am now 99% depigmented. Other auto-immune illnesses run in my family but Vitiligo does not.
As I'm not married, I'm not planning on having children anytime soon but Vitiligo would be my last concern. There are a host of other genetic illness that run in my family, those of which haven't affected me. But those illnesses take a higher presidence of worry than Vitiligo.
Lets NOT take the responses to a different level. This is a tough, complicated topic. Mersi is just trying to convey her point what she believes. That's what her opinion. Lets respect that. Leave it there.
As you know, we all are vitiligo family members. We certainly come from different cultures with different family background. We have our own thought processes, opinions abnove all, culture certainly plays a great role in living in society and also depending on the country of living.
Having this condition, we all have good days, bad days. Depending on days, our opinions change too, YES, that can happen. I am fine usually. Something happens, suddenly, I go to the bottom of the ocean. Just by reading the forum discussions, I found peace and courage. TRUE. This forum is powerful and strong. It has majic. I shared some things with forum members, I did not even share with my family members.
Hope my comments make sense.
I don't see where people are taking it to a different level, every response thus far has addressed the contents of the original post. If someone has an opinion, it can be disagreed with. If someone posts a thought on a public forum, they are opening themselves up to be interacted with. If someone poses their opinion as a fact, then someone else is well within reason to refute those statements with substantiated evidence. If someone insists on imposing their ideology on a bunch of strangers, I guarantee you, there will be pushback.
this man you are talking about is a human being , who am 100 % sure was a loving and smart man ,but unfortunately his granddaughter did not took that gene from him !
ps . i think your just an angry kid ! i cant imagine this way of thinking from adults
i got mine from my maternal grandmother. hers developed in her 60's. she never knew it was genetic. i didnt till after her death when i looked into and realized my chances of coming down with it were great. so i've been waiting. she died at 91 in 2006, i started showing it last year at 50.
do i love my grandmother any less?. never, i miss her more now as i wish i could of spend more time with her easing what even fears she had with it. as she wasnt computer literate, i dont know what info she had. probably what ever little bit of knowledge her primary told her.
since this disease is not physically painful, life threatening or anything short of something my ego has to deal with, if i'm going to get a genetic disease, i think this is the one i'd rather get. it'll be less painful then the RA i'll probably inherit from my mother,
what are be suppose to do, not have children because they might inherit illnesses from us, that might be cured in their life time???
Bah... grow a pair... survival of the fittest.