Lately I’ve been feeling indifferent about my future. Who will I be? What will I accomplish? There is so much to think about...It’s irritating! I can't seem to settle my thoughts. I think about my future and feel limited. This is when my mind turns to Vitiligo. I wonder if it will rule my life in the future. I’m now in full acceptance of my skin condition but I fear that I will revert. I fear it will prevent me from accomplishing goals I have set for the future. In the past, I had a hard time dealing with people's reaction to my vitiligo, and to a certain extent, I still do.
One of my goals this year is to wear less makeup so that my Vitiligo shows. I’m completely comfortable with strangers seeing me without makeup, though I fear the reaction I will receive from my peers, friends, and family members. How will they react? Many of my friends know of my skin condition because it is visible on my hands. Slowly I’ve started reducing the amount of makeup I wear on a daily basis. Hopefully by the end of the year I will feel comfortable with not wearing any makeup, I’m still indecisive about that.
Another issue I’ve been contemplating is changing my major. Currently, my major is in English and I’m looking to minor in creative writing. I recently discovered my love of poetry and that has caused me to consider going for a Master’s degree in create writing. It’s such a great form of expression and I feel whole when I write. As much as I love poetry, I also like the idea of teaching. I love helping kids. I know that it would be fulfilling to pursue a career in education, but I fear that I would have to give up my dream of going to graduate school for creative writing.
The last concern that I have is that I fear the idea of not settling down and having a family. I fear that my skin condition will prevent me from doing so. I have trust issues and that has prevented me from being receptive. Looks matter too much in our society and I fear rejection based solely because of my skin condition
I know that have written a lot but this has been bothering me for a while now.
Replies
I really appreciate your opinions and support. I have started taking a step forward by wearing less makeup and allowing small areas to show. I'm going about it slowly and eventually will go without. Its true that people need to be aware of it as a lot of individuals immediately come to the wrong conclusion. People ask if I've been in a fire. I'm actually thinking of documenting it and based on the results may even post it. I'm really so happy I found this site as everyone is so supportive. Thank you so much because your comments are so up lifting! If I dont respond immediately it's because of school.
if someone rejects u just for your skin, phst, then you're to good for them, and they're not worthy of you. the man u do eventually settle down will love you for you, not for your skin, which will change over time anyway. i know rejection hurts, but to pump yourself up, remember you're special, and your special man is out there, and when the time is right... there ya go.
it's a great idea to be in a career where you're helping people... and more people to teach about your Vit.
as for makeup... wear what ever makes you feel comfortable. ;-)