Posted by Advain on March 6, 2017 at 11:53am in Main
My son got vitiligo for past 4 years and my life became hell. Somehow I'm managing by boosting his confident level and he doing good at the moment. However no improvements to his white patches. My mother got vitiligo so it is prudent that my son got it due to genetic reason. My wife is doing great support for overcoming this difficult situation however sometimes out of frustration she is pointing out that I'm the whole reason for rueing this family peace and future. Although she is telling at rare occasion the moment when I hear that word I'm just feeling like dead. It is not my fault and either my son or my mum. Why we have this condition and why we are cornered in society?. I'm afraid what hell which myself and my son going thru in our life until we die.
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Hello Advain,
I am sorry to hear about your situation and we are here for you. Your wife needs to find the cause of her frustration and needs to find another way to cope with it. In the blame game no one wins and it is only damaging your relationship with her and causing resentment. Tell her that if she blaming you will not help and to stop because your son does not need to hear this. Like Ish said your family should seek counseling. Keep strong and teach your son to love himself and he is no different then anyone and he can and should live a full life. Love should be unconditional and accepting. God Bless your family.
You should not feel guilty about it because of the following facts:
1) Despite genetic pre-disposition is a big cause, it's not enough to trigger vitiligo.
2) Vitiligo pre-disposition needs more causes to be present in order to wake up, like: friction, traumas, oxidative stress and stress hormones.
3) What triggers vitiligo in fact is the environment and habits. So it's really impossible to point out a single reason that triggered vitiligo, but a combination of them.
Please see below a model, that I've been working for 5 years and has presented good results:
This is very destructive-blaming each other out of frustration. Maybe family counselling can help?
Be kind to yourselves and just be there for your child. Your child has a loss in pigment-it is actually quite common but society unfortunately acts like it's surreal. If your family is strong-your son will have the strength to face any prejudice.
Replies
I am sorry to hear about your situation and we are here for you. Your wife needs to find the cause of her frustration and needs to find another way to cope with it. In the blame game no one wins and it is only damaging your relationship with her and causing resentment. Tell her that if she blaming you will not help and to stop because your son does not need to hear this. Like Ish said your family should seek counseling. Keep strong and teach your son to love himself and he is no different then anyone and he can and should live a full life. Love should be unconditional and accepting. God Bless your family.
Hi Advain,
You should not feel guilty about it because of the following facts:
1) Despite genetic pre-disposition is a big cause, it's not enough to trigger vitiligo.
2) Vitiligo pre-disposition needs more causes to be present in order to wake up, like: friction, traumas, oxidative stress and stress hormones.
3) What triggers vitiligo in fact is the environment and habits. So it's really impossible to point out a single reason that triggered vitiligo, but a combination of them.
Please see below a model, that I've been working for 5 years and has presented good results:
Cheers,
Flavio
PS: How old is your son?
This is very destructive-blaming each other out of frustration. Maybe family counselling can help?
Be kind to yourselves and just be there for your child. Your child has a loss in pigment-it is actually quite common but society unfortunately acts like it's surreal. If your family is strong-your son will have the strength to face any prejudice.
Best wishes,
Ish