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Do you feel like you are never going to get married?

Posted by mersi on March 11, 2013 at 3:11pm in Main

Even though a few do get married/ coupled up , It seems to be the reality for most vitiligo people to remain single for extended periods of time yet we cover it with "we are not only our skin" "im not responsible for other's behavior's " and " I am happy with myself and don't need anyone"

I mean that's nice and dandy to tell yourself that it's really out of your control and that someone will see you for your inner beauty but at the end of a long scary day, all I want to say is:

FUCK IT, NO ONE WANTS TO BE WITH ME NO MATTER HOW BEAUTIFUL I MIGHT BE ON THE INSIDE, NO MATTER HOW SPECIAL I TREAT THEM, LISTEN TO THEM, BE PLAYFUL WITH, EVERYONE IS JUST LOOKING AT THAT SPOT IN MY EYE, LEG, ARMS AND NOT PICTURING WAKING UP TO THIS IN THEIR BED EVERY MORNING WHEN THERE ARE A MULTITUDE OF BEAUTIFUL GIRLS WHO ARE FUCKING 10 IN EVERY ASPECT AND ALSO BEAUTIFUL ON THIS INSIDE! MEN CAN BE MY FRIENDS, A DATE OR TWO BUT NEVER A PROPER BOYFRIEND JUST BECAUSE OF THIS....

There I got it out of my chest, I'm being honest from the core because that's the reality I see and not some self help book that tells me everything's going to be allright when it's not. I live in Miami where it is said the most beautiful people live, I watch these beautiful ladies with beautiful skins, tops careers having lots of men, putting their pictures up in facebook, marrying having kids and living it up, why? Because they don't have our fucking problem that's why. They are out in the sun being seen by everyone, admired and loved for the mere reason she stole momma and dad good genes which didn't include the vitiligo gene, I'm tired of this laziness, I want people to earn their praise with something else than their looks.

People are quick to jump on the bandawon of  "gotta learn how to love yourself first for anyone to love you " Guess what? The first part is already done, I cannot stop loving myself and this is why I see the truth which is hidden by deceptive perfection of "ITS THEM NOT ME" IT'S EVERYBODY AND THEIR CATS TOO LADIES!

So what is your opinion? please talk truthfully!

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Replies

  • Girish July 29, 2015 at 6:11am

    I hope this gives you a little bit of hope:

    I grew up in a small racist town in Ohio.  I have lived in New York City, Chicago, and now Houston.  I have traveled more than most.  First off, get the hell out of Miami to find a relationship.  If you live somewhere, where everyone cares about how you look, what you wear, and what car you have, obviously it will be hard to get around a superficial disease.  Yes, it is much easier even in New York compared to Miami.

    This is going to sound strange, I try to avoid photos taken of me.  When I don't see photos of myself, I don't think of my vitiligo as much.  Lack of confidence is a big killer.  Obviously, I see it in the mirror everyday, but it doesn't bother me as much as when I see it in a photo. More confidence, better luck.

    A little about me, I have had this disease since I was 12, I am now 31.  It has spread throughout my entire life.  I am also an introvert: I don't like crowds, small talk annoys me, and dumb questions really piss me off.  Even if I didn't have the vitiligo, those things would apply to me.  To add insult to injury, I have the equivalent of two left feet when talking and approaching girls.  And I am definitely not a model.

    With that being said, I have never had trouble with getting girls.  The girls I have been with have all been beautiful, intelligent women.  I was always surprised when they would tell me how handsome or hot I was, and how completely ok they were with my vitiligo.  I wear cover cream on my face, and every serious relationship I had they would help me put on my cover cream.  You don't have that level of intimacy and trust if someone doesn't care for you.

    What did I do?

    Not a damn thing.  I had a lot of self-doubt like the rest of you.  However,  I was not self-destructive.  I was kind to everyone.  If you have a "i'm pissed at the world face" every time you go out, no one will approach you or talk to you, cuz you probable look like a serial killer.  You know how you feel, I know how you feel, some people find it necessary to let every know they are insecure or unhappy.  Don't do that!  

    If you really want to just get laid, I just went to a bachelor party in Costa Rica, 100 bucks will get laid with a model looking hooker.

    If you want a relationship, be yourself, don't bitch about your disease, and get the hell out of Miami. :)  It's ok to be insecure, talk to your mom, talk to a friend, and when you are in a committed relationship share it with your significant other.  Just don't make it known that it bothers you when meeting people.

    I've been happily married to a gorgeous girl for 4 years.  You can find your too.

    P.S.  A good wingman never hurts!

  • Saachi July 22, 2015 at 4:16pm
    I'm pretty young with vitiligo (in my teens). I used to always think no one would want me because of my skin, but now that I've found the right guy to date, its made me so much more comfortable. He absolutely does not care and i dont understand but who am I to complain? Don't lose hope, you'll find someone. I still feel like I'd be more comfortable with someone that shares my struggle, but maybe I'm wrong.
  • kim July 19, 2015 at 9:07am

    yes..sometime i feel

  • Abhishek July 18, 2015 at 8:14am

    I will be alone like this only

  • Wendy July 16, 2015 at 3:29pm

    I truly understand, there are days like today that I am tired of hearing about a cure. I have Vitiligo and Bells Palsy so I don't want to put up a picture. But then there are many days I am good and don't want to wear makeup but other times I get a glimpse of my vitiligo around my eyes and on my lips and I don't feel good. I question why, why has this happened, was I not a good person. Aren't we to ask God for what we want and it shall be given? When I see other people's disabilities I take that moment to be thankful for what I have. Everyday is a challenge to stay positive. My mom is extremely sick and stress is present and I see the vitiligo has grown because of it.

  • francisco garcia franco July 13, 2015 at 7:06am

    me late 20s not married lol 

    vitiligo makes us very very insecure persons thats why dating and marriage is hard for us 

    i feel like i have been married to my skin the last 11 years since i got my vitiligo 

    dont give up people there is someone out there for you 

    for me is a tough question because my brothers and sister (they dont have vitiligo) and they are not married they have around the same age as me late 20s so for my family is normal to be really old and not married 

  • Ozgur Er July 13, 2015 at 12:23am

    i think it is easier for a lady to find man but it is difficult for a man to find lady. Look at the nature, same; for example, animals. Males try anything to attract the female. Female decides to pick the male up or not. Dont worry ladies :), it is easier for you to find man. Btw, i am man and at the age of 35.

  • N M March 22, 2013 at 2:23am

    I don't feel like never going to get married because I'm married! Although before I've got married I only had a few tiny patches of Vitiligo then it shot off when I was breast feeding my first child! So, did I trick my husband then?! No, because humans are not like meterial things that come with warranty! So I developed Vitiligo on my breasts, under arms, chin, feet and still spreading slowly. I know I wouldn't have as many patches if I didn't express excessive amount of milk  (enough to feed 6 babies a day because I didn't know any better - just did it for the sake of relief of swollen breats- still had 2 breast infection due to being a massive big cow who can produce milk for whole street :/ ) to feed my premature baby who couldn't lacth on my breast. I have driving my body to produce massive amount of post natal hormones so 2 months after that my vitiligo was everywhere and I was only 24 at the time! That still didn't stop me breast feed my first child for 13 months and second child for 19 months. I'm less concious about Vitiligo at the moment, not because I already have a man so I secured myself it's because I have been through couple of treatments one resulted with severe burns and left me in agony for 10 days (still luckliy no scars left as it was a case of sun burn) and the other treatment was uv therapy for a year involved 3 visits to hospital every week) I had my pigments back on my chin and my hands and found out it only worked on the newest patches. I'm now happy to leave it alone. I know it can be depressing somethimes, I alway kept wearing clothes that can cover the pathes, avoided lifting my arms in the summer day as well as not wearing anything sleeveless because I didn't want to expose myself to anyone but I gave it all up in the end and I'm feeling much much much happier now! It doesn't make any difference to me either I hide it or show it and you won't know how this works until you stop being so concious! We all need to try learning "how to be an Aspergers sometimes" for your own good and don't give a damn to others' opinions!

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