I keep hearing that it all depends on how confident the guy is with himself, that looks have nothing in attracting a woman. Do women find white hair and white facial hair attractive or do they think its a sign that a guy is ready for retirement (no offense to anyone with natural grey or white hair).
As a single parent of two kids in his 30s with vit. I am seeking advice on how to approach women for dates. Should I stop masking my vitiligo and show my trueself and see who really wants to be with me or should I keep concealing my vit till things get on a more personal level?
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I am not trying to get you to agree with me, I just tried to clarify my point, and explain ways I personally used to help me deal with it. Vitiligo is something out of my control right now as there is no cure or 100% way to repigment, as is many other things things are out of my control. Vitilogo itself only cosmetic, (that is directly from my dermatologist), after I accepted that, I looked at other cosmetic things that I sometimes do not like and can not change.
well said Anthony, that's a far more polite way of talking about Nicole's logical fallacies than I felt like using :)
The way I see it with differnt eye color, nose shape etc, is like vitiligo, where it's something we have no control over. We can do things to help cover it up, coloured contacts, nose jobs etc. Make up, etc. The confidence do come with time. It took me a while to stop caring what other people thought and how others judged, and realized I was my own worst critic. The stress of worrying what everyone thought just became overwelming, and after a while, I just stopped caring.
And no, none of those bathroom mirror shots, excpet for those I take specifically of my vitiligo for my dermatologist. She normally has me do them every year or 6weeks when doing treatments to see how its progressing. I actually find most of those shots to look pretty silly.
lol,Fair question, I don't have a photo of me because I prefer to be the one taking pictures rahter than being in them, and I have very little recent. Most of the ones I do have are also work (which is frowned upon putting on), volunteer related, or there are others in the photo with me.
I think its fine for people to have questions about the vitiligo, they want to understand it to. Big thing is don't define yourself by the vitiligo, its a part of you but only a small part. You said you have two children, be a role model for them in every way, if they came home from school, upset that someone made fun of them for their eye color, shape of their nose, etc would you do everything to help them hide it?
People feel uncomfortable if you feel uncomfortable.
Confidence is a big winner. Ask yourself the same question when looking for qualities in a woman If she were to have some a visible difference, would it make a difference for you? You can tell when someone is confident and comfortable in their own skin (pardon the pun). People mirror your own beliefs of yourself. I keep telling youth I work with the same thing about respect, if you do not respect yourself, and have confidence in yourself, and hold true to your beliefs and values (whatever they may be) then you can not really expect others to have respect, and have a high level of confidence in you.
I rarely cover up my vit, for different reasons, 1. I haven't really found a product that covers it up well, and 2. I don't see the need to spend an hour putting on make up to please everyone else. I have come to accept my vitiligo (on most days, don't get me wrong there are times when I wish I could cover it all up). I have always prefered to let a guy get to know me with out the make up and what not (even before I had the vitiligo, or visible vitilgo) before he got to see me all dressed up with all the extra effort. Its not going to work if he gets to know a superficial version of me first. Hate to let him think that I'm going to do it all the time. I am very much the I am who I am, and if you don't like me for me, then I guess we'll go our seperate ways.
It's actually kind of funny, I will go out with my girl friends, who get all dressed up, make up on (do not have vitiligo), spending hours getting ready, I'll grab a shower, toss on something clean and forgo the make up. (They normally get upset at my lack of dressing up to go out). but in the end I will get more guys approaching me, than they do.
As for the facial hair, your a hit or miss... personally facial hair is a major turn off for me, no matter what the color.
To talk to ladies because my vitiligo can be a distraction and considered a "turn off" I have had some really tough relationships
And things of the sort but your a mature guy and the women you draw are mature as well
So you know man you have real chance of getting a lady to love you for you.
Keep your head up brother
I've never found any real issues, only problem I found was with my own self image, I used to think i was "damaged" so didn't believe that really hot women were hitting on me, ironically this seemed to make them more attracted to me :)
I've since found out most people think I've got scars, i like the idea/image for whatever reason. Only time i talk about vitiligo is if I'm going to get naked with a lady, some of them think it's a STD unless i talk them through it :P
post your picture brother, you dont have to hide from us... we're ALL in the same boat. ;-)
Anthony... Vit has been in existance for thousands of years, as long as there has been pigment.
dont count on a 'cure' in your life time... learn to live with what/who you're becoming....
Women live self secure men. men who are secure in them selves, so that they can be secure with them.
Flaunt yourself boy. screw what society thinks, there is no NORM. we are diverse, as diverse as snowflakes.
the right woman for you will see you past your surface signs. I found a woman that loves me for me, and i tell you, it's the greatest thing. So will you, just dont stop keeping yourself out there. ;-)
we're with u brother.
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