Having a hard day today. At moments feel like I am fine with my vitiligo but then someone says or does something that takes me back to how I felt when I was first diagnosed. I cut family off because of their childish comments or using my vitiligo as an excuse to cover up why they don't want me around. One fsmily member in particular. There they go again trying to communicate with me thru text or facebook and hugging me telling me they love even after what they have done but taking no responsibility for their actions. I try to explain to loved ones (husband and mother) but they don't understand how it is to have vitiligo and be treated differently because of it. I will get over this.
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Im sorry that this has been your experience. And, personally, I understand all too well how loved ones, family and others can truly be insensitive to what they do not understand. I just want to take a moment and encourage you, and remind you of how beautiful and STRONG you are to endure a challenge that most can not, and will not have to.
It is hard having a condition that has such a physical impact on our lives, and one that truly brings out the 'internal ugliness' of others at time. Just know that you are not alone in the way that you feel, but no matter what - keep going.
Your strength - whether you realize it or not - is something that inspires others. Their challenges may not be Vitiligo, but other areas, and you harbor the strength to keep moving and stay positive regardless of what others, or life throws at you. So please, stay encouraged - and surround yourself with those who celebrate and support you.
Thank Cre M. your words are encouraging and inspire me to not let people bring me down. I surround myself with people who are supportive and praise God for having these people in my life . This conditon has made me see who truly loves me for who I am. I just find it hard that how can a loved one who i called a my second mother and cousins act so stupid and insensitive. I will never know why they did what they did but atleast now they are not around to hurt me. I tell myself to use these situations to build my inner strength to overcome anything life throws at me. Hey if family can tell me crap and I can move on then a stranger telling me crap should be less stinging :). Thanks again Cre M.
I know it's hard, but the more you show confidence, the less they (fake friends and same family members) will make childish comments.
Despite loved ones tend to support us, they will never understand the real meaning of having vitiligo, since It has to do with self esteem.
Try to help loved ones to understand our suffering better by letting them know about the Morris Rosenberg self esteem theory. He says it's formulated in 3 ways: (1) reflected appraisals, (2) social comparison, (3) self attribution.
1) Reflected appraisal comes from the idea that if other respect us, we are likely to have a higher self esteem than if they are degrading us.
2) Social comparison is the process by which we compare ourselves to others in either a positive, neutral or negative way.
3) Self attribution is when there is a failure to observe the internal psychological processes and to instead, form an opinion of the self based on external behaviors or reactions.
I hope they can support us even better after understanding how complex self esteem is.
Thank you Robot. I try my best remain condifidant and continue being outgoing person. It's just hurtful that my own family who knows what I am going thru can intentionally hurt me but telling others to convince of treatment, how o look or each time they talk to someone they bring up my vitiligo. Or worse not inviting myself and children to a party because their in laws are very critical and still text me to let me know that is why didn't invite me. I will follow-up on the Morris Rosenberg theory Mr. Robot and your comments are very resourcefull and helpful.
Replies
Hello "Back to Square One"
Im sorry that this has been your experience. And, personally, I understand all too well how loved ones, family and others can truly be insensitive to what they do not understand. I just want to take a moment and encourage you, and remind you of how beautiful and STRONG you are to endure a challenge that most can not, and will not have to.
It is hard having a condition that has such a physical impact on our lives, and one that truly brings out the 'internal ugliness' of others at time. Just know that you are not alone in the way that you feel, but no matter what - keep going.
Your strength - whether you realize it or not - is something that inspires others. Their challenges may not be Vitiligo, but other areas, and you harbor the strength to keep moving and stay positive regardless of what others, or life throws at you. So please, stay encouraged - and surround yourself with those who celebrate and support you.
Have a wonderful day.
Well said Cre M.
I know it's hard, but the more you show confidence, the less they (fake friends and same family members) will make childish comments.
Despite loved ones tend to support us, they will never understand the real meaning of having vitiligo, since It has to do with self esteem.
Try to help loved ones to understand our suffering better by letting them know about the Morris Rosenberg self esteem theory. He says it's formulated in 3 ways: (1) reflected appraisals, (2) social comparison, (3) self attribution.
1) Reflected appraisal comes from the idea that if other respect us, we are likely to have a higher self esteem than if they are degrading us.
2) Social comparison is the process by which we compare ourselves to others in either a positive, neutral or negative way.
3) Self attribution is when there is a failure to observe the internal psychological processes and to instead, form an opinion of the self based on external behaviors or reactions.
I hope they can support us even better after understanding how complex self esteem is.
Deena,
If possible, try to get rid of people who make you feel bad. Whoever they are.
Make new friends if necessary.
You are a nice person (inside and outside).
keep it up. Don't let them hurt you.
Your loved ones understand only.........have faith on them so that you remain happy without mental burden just because of vitiligo.